


Hold My Hand

by lumienarc



Series: Worlds Apart [3]
Category: 2PM (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, But it was just an illusion, But who could, Calligrapher!Taec, Khun is too adorable, M/M, Ok Taecyeon is stupid, People believed in KhunFany, References to Depression, Taec can't resist the power of cute!Nichkhun, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, pianist!Khun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 06:15:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8316949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumienarc/pseuds/lumienarc
Summary: While Ok Taecyeon the beast idol has safely returned to his world, his other self floats in a crash-landed aeroplane. Thanks to Taecyeon the idol, now Taecyeon the calligrapher has to accept that his fate is also knotted to Nichkhun of his world, Nichkhun the pianist who foolishly volunteers to look after the lightly injured Taecyeon. Just how this relationship will unfold?





	

There wasn’t much to tell about Ok Taecyeon the calligrapher and historian, except that he was rude and selfish. He always spent his days alone. He would not come out of his working space for days. Someone had to take care of him or else he might die out of starvation. He was grumpy, but his face gained him popularity. He abused it, he overused it. Everyone except his sister and his art dealer would leave him after knowing how much a heathen he was. He, obviously, understood all this, but he could not see it. He was blinded by his traumatized memories. Now, he had ruined everything. Everything. He would always be a destroyer. That was what he thought and believed until now.

*****

The video shook as the camera was handled roughly. It showed a simple house, or rather an apartment with several rooms. The cameraman’s face appeared after a few seconds. It was Ok Taecyeon, much younger than he was now and much skinnier. He could not be older than twenty three that time. It must be some time around their early years of being an idol group. He smiled at the camera and waved.

“It’s June 24th today,” he whispered. “No one’s here but me and Khun. Khun doesn’t know I stayed, though.” He grinned mischievously. “Poor Khunnie—he can’t go anywhere because he sprained his knee yesterday and tomorrow we have a schedule, so he has to rest. Everyone else has their own schedule today—I don’t.”

He started to walk away, then he turned the camera towards the room behind him earlier. It showed a simple kitchenette. A table at the middle was filled with a small birthday cake with “Khun” written on it in _Hangul_ and a plate of roasted pork belly. He then turned the camera to himself.

“I prepared small birthday party for him. The guys planned to do one later tonight, but I think he is now feeling incredibly sad, so I will try to cheer him up.”

He tiptoed his way towards a certain door. He shushed to the camera as he reached the doorknob. He twisted it and slowly opened the door. The room was dark. The drapes were pulled together, disrupting summer light from reaching the inside. Taecyeon stepped in and announced himself. Unexpectedly, Khun was sitting on the bottom bunk bed, face lit up by his laptop’s light. He screamed when he heard and saw Taec. Taec screamed, too, and dropped the camera.

“I thought you left!” Khun shouted. In darkness, the camera only picked up their voices and shadows. Sometimes it would catch glimpses of their movements as sunlight sneaked in through the window.

“What are you doing, Khun? Is that me?”

“No! Get out!”

“Wait, that’s me, right?”

“Get out! Get out! Get out!”

“Throw me out if you want me to get out!”

Silence. It seemed that Khun could not leave his bed and blanket. The camera captured the shadow of Taecyeon’s back. Somehow, the angle accommodated a limited view up to Khun’s waist while sitting on his bed. Taecyeon was approaching bed. He sat next to Khun and began to pester him about the laptop. Their voices became quieter than before.

“Say, Khun, you like me?”

“Of course I do.”

“Like _like_?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Don’t play dumb. Come on, aren’t we best friends?”

“Best friends don’t talk like this!”

“Khun.”

“Fine, I admit it! I… just don’t want you to hate me. Everyone expects me to be straight—I thought I was.”

Taecyeon was seen leaning towards Khun, pressing himself on him. The last thing heard from him was:

“Khun, happy birthday.”

“Wait—Taec! Aaaa…ah…!”

The camera showed the movements of two shadows colliding in the dark. Squeaking sounds came from the bed as it obviously shook. Muffled moans and deep grunts were clearly heard, too. Incoherent stutters and whispers coloured the empty air. About thirty minutes passed until the sounds all ceased. Only rustle of blanket was heard.

“Damn, what did we just do?” It was Taecyeon’s voice.

“Taec, take responsibility for what you’ve done to me,” Nichkhun said, half-whining, half-commanding.

“And how do I do that?”

“Marry me.”

“…Khun.”

“I know!” Khun squealed. It sounded like he had just covered his face. He stuttered with muffled voice, “Just… just… it’s so embarrassing! Why did you have to walk in on me?”

Taec chuckled deeply—then he made choking noises in between. Perhaps Khun was strangling him. After a moment of silence, Taec proposed:

“Hey, hey, hey, Khunnie—this is not as I imagined it would be, but we can be lovers, can’t we? Like, boyfriends?”

“You imagined what?”

“Dunno—romantic dinner and a walk on the beach under starry sky?”

Khun let out a gagging sound. Taec reprimanded him, but laughed at the end of his protest. Their laughter filled the room.

“Oh!” Taec shouted.

“What?”

“I have a cake for you! I hope the candles don’t ruin the cake! Come on!” Taec left the bed. He showed his bare back as he was climbing down the bed, bumped his occiput accidentally on the top bed. He picked up a shirt and put it on.

“My knee hurts,” Nichkhun whined sweetly.

“What, you want me to manhandle you?”

“Don’t you want to? You keep saying you love me earlier when you pounded into me. Don’t you love me, Taec? If you love me, you will help me, will you not?”

“How could you say things like that?!” Taec protested, clearly blushing from the way he sounded. “Fine, come here. Watch your head, Khun.”

Taec turned around and crouched, waited for Khun to get on his back. They, then, intended to leave the room like that. Taec and his big feet didn’t realize about the camera until he kicked it as he reached for the door. The door was open and light streamed freely into the room.

“Oh, I forgot this.”

He crouched again, but the one who was picking it up was Khun. They were now clearly recorded. Khun was dishevelled, his lips swelled slightly, and his face was still bright pink. Taecyeon looked normal, as normal as one who had just finished working out at the gym that was. Khun was holding onto Taec with his right arm around the shoulder and chest, propping his chin on the shoulder while pressing it to Taec’s mouse-ear.

“This is the birthday boy,” Taec said and Khun began to make ugly expressions—as ugly as Nichkhun Horvejkul could be. “I think I have just given myself as his birthday present. It’s so expensive, Nichkhun- _ssi_. Are you happy with it?”

“Yeah,” Nichkhun said cutely. “I’m satisfied. It wasn’t as I hoped, but so much better.”

“Ooooh…”Taec dramatically cooed. Khun kissed him on the cheek.

“Let’s turn this off for now,” Khun suggested. Taec agreed readily. The video was ended there.

Ok Taecyeon, the calligrapher and historian, the one who stole the life of Ok Taecyeon in that video, cursed inwardly. What was with these people? How could he end up having a male lover instead of female? He had watched a lot of videos with his other self in them. He knew he was no match for that person. It was like comparing a flawless, polished diamond exhibited in a fancy room, sitting on velvety cushion in a glass box, with ruby in the rough, isolated and undiscovered deep within layers of rocks.

He could not contain the disappointment inside him, the dissatisfaction towards himself. What did happen to him and what did change him drastically that he had become who he was right now? He could not remember. He regretted everything. Why did he do this? The dealer was summoned when he threw the inkstone he bought in Japan. He was depressed, frustrated. Nothing he wrote was good enough. He wanted to escape from the exhibition. He feared what peers would say to him. He was never good enough. He was just as good as playing smart, good-looking person.

The dealer was gone again for the second time. He wished it wasn’t too late for him to give back what he stole. He wished… He wished…

He was floating. Darkness. Coldness. He could not feel his limbs. His ears deaf. His lungs burnt. There was sound of pounding drum. It got louder and louder. He heard his own voice reciting the poem he wrote and ever since had never been left wherever he went.

_Wasn’t I a loser from the beginning?_

_Unwanted, unneeded, yet existed._

_A loser is what I am_

_Why did it take this long to realize that simple fact?_

_The more of a loser now I feel_

_It does not matter what I do_

_Does not matter how well I do_

_Does not matter how kind,_

_how helpful,_

_how smart,_

_how knowledgeable,_

_how caring,_

_how selfless I am_

_Everyone will leave, forget everything about me_

_How am I not a loser?_

_A loser who is trying so hard to show the world that I am tough_

_That I am fine living this way_

_That I am not bothered by anything_

_That I am what I am today_

_How much am I a loser anyway?_

_Is there any measurement that I might use?_

_Have no courage_

_A coward_

_A useless person_

_An insignificant presence among others_

_Why am I still alive?_

_Is there even a reason for me to stay?_

_Why am I still alive?_

_Is there even any reason at all for me to be?_

_I can’t even take my own life with these cowardly hands_

_Pathetic_

_Pitiful_

_Attention seeker_

_No one cares_

_Even if I sit here among them and cry, or hurl over and die_

_No, no one will even bat an eye_

_Living or dying…_

**_THERE IS NO MEANING_**

_Loser_

_Loser_

_Loser_

_Loser_

_Forget love,_

_Even affection I am not worth it_

_The simplest act of courtesy_

_The slightest hint of kindness…_

_No_

_No_

_Too expensive for me_

_I can’t_

_I can’t afford it_

_Many tell me that I am perfect_

_That nothing I can’t do_

_That I am the best_

_But who am I kidding?_

_In the end,_

_Lip-service_

_No one wants me_

_No one even needs me—not for what I am, but for themselves_

_Loser_

_Everyone is a victor, but me_

_I am just a loser_

   
  
---  
  
Taecyeon woke up to an unfamiliar ceiling, clean white with bright neon light shone. He groggily sat up. His body hurt, as if he had just fallen and drowned in deep waters and a truck fell on him as a bonus. Taecyeon realized that he was sleeping on a queen-sized bed under a red cover. On bedside table to his left, there was a framed picture of six people smiling together: one middle-aged man, two handsome men, one middle-aged woman, and two young girls. He did not know about them, but looking closer, he found that he knew one of them. It was Nichkhun.

“No…” he groaned. His head just ached badly and his thoughts weren’t exactly comforting. He leaned forward only to find out that he might have broken a rib or two. His abdomen felt sore. He looked down, discovering that his torso was bandaged.

“You should lie down now!” a voice told him in panic. He turned to the source and he just knew that it must be him. Nichkhun strode across the room and put the tray on vacant bedside table to Taecyeon’s right.

“Why am I here?” Taecyeon inconsiderately demanded. He did not mean it to be that rude, but it was how his voice naturally came out when he was irritated. He was broody and intimidating, which merely added more factors to his unapproachable image. Nichkhun halted and stared at him with eyes wide, as a prey within sight of its hunter. He paled drastically and started to stutter:

“I—I…”—the man took a deep breath and another—“I claimed as your—your friend when they brought you out of water.”

“Why would you do that? What day is it? I have to go back to Seoul,” Taecyeon ranted. He knew that he now was back to his own world. Just what did his other self do that even Nichkhun of this world could go as far as sheltering him after he was involved in that plane crash? He did not deserve this. Taecyeon proceeded to leave the bed.

“It—it’s Sunday. You have been unconscious for two days.”

Nichkhun went to help him stand, but Taecyeon pushed him away.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Sorry,” Nichkhun said, dejected. “I’ll leave you alone.”

*****

Taecyeon phoned his sisters, who left not less than thirty calls and sixty text messages asking how he was. Jihyen yelled as soon as she picked up the call, but gradually she mellowed and ended up crying. Taecyeon apologized for making her worry and he promised to call their mother right away. For once, his apologize sounded hearty and sincere, and Jihyen laughed in between her sobs because of it. His mother was more dramatic than his sister, but it was a given knowing his mother. That moment, Ok Taecyeon realized that there were people who cared about him. Even Jang Wooyoung. The junior practically yelled on the top of his lungs while bawled over his call.

“Songsaengnim _! I was worried that you changed your mind—then your sister told me about the accident and I thought… I thought…_ Songsaengnim _! I’m glad you’re okay. I’m so glad you are okay!_ ”

“Wooyoung, if you don’t stop crying right now, I’ll really change my mind,” sternly Taecyeon said. He could not stand listening to this kid’s rambling any longer. He wasn’t sure if he was just plainly annoyed or he was feeling pity.

“ _I’m so sorry,_ Songsaengnim _!_ ”

“I’ll update you about my schedule later, okay.”

“ _Yes,_ Songsaengnim!”

“Don’t yell.”

“ _Yes,_ Songsaengnim,” repeated Wooyoung calmly. Taecyeon smiled.

This person was his working partner in other world. He was considered as Taecyeon’s second family member. That must be the reason other Taecyeon accepted him back in heartbeat. Taecyeon was thankful, though, that he had done it. He wanted to ask Wooyoung back, but his pride stopped him—the other Taecyeon did not know what stopped him, so he felt free to do as he saw fit and truly, it was relieving.

When he ended the call, he heard someone was knocking at the door. It was Nichkhun, peeking timidly as he fearfully opened the door. It was ridiculous, Taecyeon thought, this was his house and it was his bedroom, why would he knock? Taecyeon sighed as he put down his phone, slowly turning to the host with neutral face.

“Hi, sorry to interrupt, but I want you to know that lunch is ready,” Nichkhun started off meekly. “If—if you want, we—I mean—you can—may—err—can?—can, yes, can eat in the dining room—but! But… if you prefer, I can—will!— _will_ bring it here.” The man kept correcting himself, trying to be as polite as possible. Taecyeon pitied him. Surely, Taecyeon had projected quite a problematic image to Nichkhun’s mind.

“Hey,” Taecyeon began—Nichkhun flinched—“I’m sorry. You don’t have to treat me like this. I was just… surprised.”

“Oh—okay,” Nichkhun said, attempting to relax, but failed.

“I would be happy if you let me have lunch in the dining room,” Taecyeon continued. He had to be polite. He must not do whatever he always did previously. This man was a good man, the kind-hearted angel who was sometimes mischievous. Taecyeon should know; he had watched plenty of video footages about him and his other self.

“Sure!” Nichkhun replied, effectively brightened.

The man was beaming throughout the meal. Taecyeon did not realize it before, but now that they sat across each other, he could not help but noticing. Nichkhun could not seem to stop stealing glances at him every time Taecyeon looked away. If he happened to catch his glance, Nichkhun would blush and avert his eyes quickly. What the hell did his other self do to this man? He didn’t make a move on him or something, right? It couldn’t be—if so, Nichkhun would be at ease, right? After all, it had been days since they first met, well, he could only assume that it had been a few days since they first met.

“Thank you for the meal. It was delicious,” said Taecyeon as he finished the dessert. Nichkhun blushed furiously, unable to look him in the eyes. He, hands trembling, gathered the dishes. Obviously, he was trying to hold down his cheekbones from showing—he tried hard not to smile too much.

“It—it’s nothing,” Nichkhun stammered.

“I can’t cook for my life. You must be very talented,” said Taecyeon, pushing Nichkhun to the edge. He did not know why, but it was entertaining for him to see Nichkhun red. He looked strikingly beautiful with red cheeks and ears. Even his hands were red. It was super cute—Taecyeon could understand why his other self loved this man so much.

“I’m not that talented,” denied Nichkhun.

He nearly dropped the plates as he spoke. Taecyeon bolted forward and saved him all the trouble. The only problem that arose was he held Nichkhun’s hands and they were too close. What was this? A rom-com? K-drama?

Nichkhun lifted his eyes, meeting Taecyeon’s directly. His big eyes were really cute. Taecyeon tried to reassure him with a simple smile, but suddenly Nichkhun blew up. He was unbelievably red—but more than that, it almost looked like that steam was floating out of his ears and head. Taecyeon felt his heart was stabbed.

“ _He—he is too cute!_ ”

What’s with this Nichkhun? He didn’t remember that he was this cute in the other world! Well, perhaps because he never interacted directly with him. How could someone blow out from embarrassment? How could Taecyeon resist someone this cute?

“ _I’m so sorry, the other me! I never knew he is this irresistible! I’m sorry for cursing at your relationship!_ ”

*****

“Uh—hmm…” Nichkhun started after the dishes were cleaned. He shifted his footing every so often. Taecyeon gave him full attention, but he wouldn’t even look at Taecyeon. It was really cute because Nichkhun’s face was clearly red.

“Is there anything you want to say?” Taecyeon took it in his own hands to control the situation. Nichkhun nodded.

“Ye—yeah. I have a—a shooting practice after this. Would—would you like to come? I—I-I think you’d be bored staying in, so—so, yeah… I thought…”

_Twenty minutes ago…_

“Stephanie! You must help me!!!” Nichkhun was yelling to the phone. He was hiding in the guest wet bar while Taecyeon was showering in his bedroom. He curled to his knees and sat on the floor.

“Don’t yell!” the woman scowled from the other side.

“Sorry—but you have to help, Stephanie! I’m in trouble!”

“What trouble?”

“You remember Ok Taecyeon, right?”

“Oh, that jerk. Why?”

This woman, Stephanie, was Khun’s best friend. She was a Korean, born in the U.S. They were so close that people considered them dating. Nichkhun and Stephanie did not bother straightening up the facts. They were gay anyway and Stephanie’s line of work required her to be either single or dating a man. Interaction between females was considered as “normal” so no one ever said anything about Stephanie’s actual lover (yes, she had one). Meanwhile Nichkhun was too shy, he didn’t have courage to initiate gay love with any men, mostly because he would be scorned for it and partially because he just hadn’t met the right person. He was a romanticist anyway. That was, until Ok Taecyeon.

“I met him.”

“Oh, so?” Stephanie was still upset after her encounter with the man in a TV show just a few months back. “He is a genuine jerk like I told you, isn’t he?”

“No! No, no, no,” said Khun, shaking his head. “He’s a bit rough, I’d say, but… not exactly a jerk.”

“Really?” His friend sounded sceptical, but it wasn’t unfounded.

“Yeah. He is just… socially awkward, I think.”

“Really? Are we talking about the same person now?”

“Yeah, unless you know any other Ok Taecyeon who is also a famous calligrapher.”

“Well, that’s impossible.”

“Yes. So, I have him in my apartment.”

“What—what did you say? Why would you have him _there_?” Stephanie yelled. It was such a big deal for her because it might lead to a scandal. Well, it was just in her mind.

“Long story short, I feel something strange since I met him last week. I voluntarily made the authorities to let me care for him after the plane crash. I don’t know what to do now after he woke up.”

“Why would you do that?! Are you crazy, Khun?”

“No! But the last thing he said to me was…” Nichkhun felt his cheeks burning from the thought. “Those—those three words.”

“Shit—no way, that dickhead? You can’t take him seriously, Khun. Don’t let him get into your head!”

“It didn’t sound phony at all, Stephanie. I could see it in his eyes. Then, I saw him again today—he looks like someone completely different. Even so, I just can’t help it. Those three words messed my head.”

Nichkhun still remembered it vividly: The warm and painful eyes that looked into his eyes, through the depth of his vision and penetrated his very soul, as the three words were delivered wholeheartedly. Nichkhun had prided himself as a man of reason and he had long been immune to empty words. His ears were sensitive enough to judge someone’s intonation when speaking. It could not be wrong— _he_ could not be wrong.

Stephanie sighed and gave up. “Okay, before we are going further, let’s check out the symptoms. When you are in the same room with him, are you always searching him and stealing a look at him?”

“Yes…?”

“Have you ever felt disappointed when you were alone and you felt like someone has just passed by and you thought that it was him, but it was just your imagination?”

“…Yes.”

“You can’t look at him in the eyes for too long.”

“…Yeah.”

“You get tongue-tied every time you want to initiate a discussion with him and you feel your heart race just from anticipating his answer.”

“…Yes.”

“You simply want him around, but also you’re embarrassed around him because you know you will do something stupid that will ruin your image in his eyes for the rest of your life so you are really conflicted about being together in the same room with him.”

“…Yes.”

“Okay, one last thing: Forget sex for now, do you want him to cuddle you?”

“…Stephanie, you are scaring me.”

“I have to. You are in love with him!” Stephanie exclaimed and Nichkhun gasped loudly—his cheeks burned brightly. It wasn’t wrong, but he could not simply accept it.

“What? No! Could it be?”

“It’s up to you, Khun. How about confirming it first? Spend a day out together and see if the feelings remain the same. You will find out what to do after that.”

“Okay…”

So, we are back to Nichkhun trying to talk to Taecyeon in the kitchen. Taecyeon didn’t know what to expect, but he slowly understood what Nichkhun was proposing. He wanted to ask Taecyeon to go with him. A shooting practice, huh? Taecyeon was good at that.

“Sure, I don’t mind,” said Taecyeon before Nichkhun was done with his stalling.

“Re—really?” the man asked, blinking cutely—oh, no, Taecyeon’s mind was now muddled, it had begun to consider everything Khun do was cute.

“Yeah. I like shooting, too. I wouldn’t mind even though I am a spectator.”

“Well—well, I’m leaving in thirty minutes and I… uh…”

“I’ll go change my clothes, then. Do you have anything I can wear?”

Taecyeon ended up wearing a brown trench coat, a black turtleneck, and jeans that were all gifts for Khun, but too big for him. People tend to mistake Nichkhun’s size. Taec could only presume that it was because of Nichkhun’s unbelievably cute, chubby cheeks. Oh, no, the adjective came again!

The destination was not too far, so they commuted there by bus. It was not rush hour, but the bus was crowded. There was nothing to be done except being standees. They both stood at the aisle, holding onto handrail. The bus stopped rather abruptly because there was a minor accident about 100 metres ahead, being processed. Nichkhun received other’s standee’s back, who failed to control their falling after the abrupt stop. He hit Taecyeon.

“Careful, Khun,” said Taecyeon, gently pushing Nichkhun back to his initial position after catching him out of reflex. Nichkhun blushed.

“Yes.”

“Anyone strong when out of focus surely will lose balance, right?” said Taecyeon, smiling. He was trying to imply that Nichkhun was a strong man who should not have suffered this kind of skits.

“ _Because it’s not a rom-com, isn’t it?!_ ”

“Ye—yeah, thanks,” stammered Nichkhun.

“Oh, it’s a supply shop,” Taecyeon said as the bus passed a certainly handsome calligraphy old supply shop. Taecyeon was always the kindest and most innocent when he talked of calligraphy. He would revert to his child self and become someone _not a jerk that he today was_. Nichkhun had his eyes on the Korean. He hadn’t seen this side of Taecyeon before, so he was entertained, adoring the childlike glimmer that appeared in his eyes.

“Do you want to drop by?” Nichkhun offered. Taecyeon panicked and abruptly, sheepishly, denied.

“No—no, I simply noted it, if I need to buy something, I will want to check that shop.”

“I see.”

They were standing face to face now and when Nichkhun realized this, he went red and averted his eyes. Taecyeon wasn’t aware about the lack of private space between them until Nichkhun reddened. He wondered what happened if he did this…

“Khun,” he called. The pianist looked up upon hearing his name and it was the worst decision ever. Taecyeon beamed and Khun died inside. Taecyeon had so much fun watching Nichkhun’s reaction.

“ _How could a man be this cute?_ ”

“ _This man is a bully!_ ” Here was a piece of Khun’s mind about Taecyeon. Well, you are on point, Khun.

*****

Nichkhun had swapped his clothes for _hakama_. He was now standing with a bow and an arrow. When he mentioned “shooting”, it was archery, not gun shooting. He held the bow with grace and he followed the procession rigidly. Taecyeon had changed his clothes, too, and now he was sitting idly and politely, watching Khun’s routine.

Focused on his target, Nichkhun took a deep breath as he was pulling the arrow. He was not bad at this—he actually was quite good. This exercise helped him to calm down and be more focused. Well, that was how it usually came into play. Today was different. Who again suggested him to bring Taecyeon along?! His heart could not calm down. He felt Taecyeon’s eyes on his back, making him nervous. Just thinking about being watched by the calligrapher made him fail to hit the target completely.

“What was wrong, Nichkhun- _san_?” the teacher asked. “You are usually not this bad.”

Taecyeon held back the urge to chortle at this remark. He got to his feet, approaching Nichkhun without told. He touched Nichkhun’s shoulders and dominant arm. On the contrary, the man tensed up. Taecyeon realized that it was him making Nichkhun fail—the pianist was fatally affected by him, extremely expressed.

“You’re too tense,” he told the pianist in archer suit. Nichkhun looked up, seemingly embarrassed. Taecyeon offered a warm smile, but Nichkhun was about to cry from the self-humiliation he felt after failing epically in front of someone other than his master. Taecyeon patted his shoulder and walked away.

“I’ll do it first, then.”

“You—you can?” Nichkhun was both impressed and surprised.

“It’s my first time—usually I just play dart,” replied the calligrapher as he was picking up his bow and arrow. Nichkhun stepped back and watched attentively.

This was something Taecyeon was proud of himself—it was the first thing that he noticed when he was venturing in the other world, the fact that his other self was not good at something like this, something that required one to be fully focused and aim perfectly. This was what Taecyeon best at. He took a deep breath and positioned himself. The aim was the centre. He released his breath along with the arrow. It glided gracefully from his fingers, slightly touched his steadied fist on the bow. The arrow shuttled straight forward, hitting the target right in the middle.

“You are amazing!” Nichkhun cheered. His eyes sparkled and his face shone brightly, Taecyeon was almost blinded by looking at him.

“It’s nothing, really,” said Taecyeon, being humble. He didn’t know why but he felt shy hearing compliments roll from that beautiful man’s mouth—wait, now he referred Nichkhun as a beautiful man? Well, he was beautiful, but…

“Was it really your first time?”

“Yes.”

“It’s _not_ ‘nothing’! You are amazing!” Nichkhun insisted excitedly as he came to stand in front of Taecyeon. His round eyes were wide-open, bright, and his pink lips were forming a circle. He was one open book—Taecyeon thought.

They finished the practice an hour later. Nichkhun took Taecyeon around the town. The man now seemed to be more relaxed with Taecyeon, and the rigid man slowly became warmer. They sampled random street food vendors they ran to. Sometimes, Nichkhun would suddenly offer Taecyeon some of his bought portion and straightforwardly give it by hand or by chopsticks—or toothpick. Taecyeon didn’t mind. He liked to eat anyway. He would return the gesture once in a while and Nichkhun would blush lightly as he accepted it with open mouth—wait, that sounded a bit wrong… or was it just Taecyeon thinking something indecent?!

As night fell, they stopped at an _oden_ vendor. Nichkhun was drinking warm _sake_ , recommending it to Taecyeon despite Taecyeon’s current condition. He immediately apologized when the recently injured calligrapher refused with a reason. Nichkhun was really cute when he was embarrassed. Taecyeon launched to the topic he was most curious about: what happened before he was back from other world. Nichkhun looked thunderstruck.

“You… don’t remember?”

“Actually,” Taecyeon delicately explained, “I probably wasn’t the Taecyeon you met.”

“Huh?”

“I was away, well. Do you know anything about parallel universes?”

Taecyeon went on about his experience, about the other Nichkhun, but he never once mentioned that they were together in that world. Nichkhun listened attentively. His face paled and he drank his _sake_ faster now. He began to rant.

“I should have known it,” he whined, clinging to Taecyeon’s arm. “You—you looked like you knew me your whole life. You… said… you loved me. I should have known. I should have known.” He cried to Taecyeon’s arm.

“Khun, Khun, hey… I’m sorry to disappoint you.”

“No… I’m sorry.” But Nichkhun still cried.

“We are lovers in that world. It is only normal for him to avoid you.”

“It makes sense,” Nichkhun said between his sobs, “but I fall in love with you. Like… like in fairytales. It’s not fair.”

“I’m sorry…” murmured Taecyeon, awkwardly trying to calm the other down, but of course he failed anyway.

He ended up dragging a very drunk Nichkhun who clung to him like a koala bear. Taecyeon would not be able to get them back if he hadn’t paid enough attention to the roads and the bus they took from Nichkhun’s apartment building. He paid close attention that he could even put the combination to unlock the apartment’s door. He stripped Nichkhun down to his underwear before gently transporting him to his bed. He also had no other option than to strip to his underwear since the drunken man threw up on him earlier. He wanted to sleep on the couch, but Nichkhun somehow managed to drag him down to bed and cry to Taecyeon’s chest all night long.

*****

Nichkhun woke up with terrible headache. He couldn’t remember anything at first, then he began to recall the moment he jugged down the alcohol after Taecyeon said he wasn’t the man Khun fell in love with. He cursed as the memory of him confessing indirectly that he fell in love with Taecyeon like some fairytale princess. He sat up and slowly recognized that he was in his bedroom, on his bed, wearing nothing but his boxers. He looked around only to find Taecyeon, topless, sleep next to him with back facing him. Khun wanted to run away, but he could not right now. He would run into a bus if he tried to with his current condition. He moved very attentively towards the edge of the bed.

“Hey,” a husky voice called from behind. Khun shivered. He slowly looked over his shoulders. Taecyeon, half-awake, was staring at him.

“Ye—yeah?”

“Are you okay now?”

“Of—of course!”

“You threw up on us both, so I had to take everything off—sorry. I intended to sleep on the sofa, but you wouldn’t let me go,” Taecyeon said. Nichkhun paled instantly. Just how embarrassing he could be?

“No hangover?” Taecyeon continued the inquiry.

“Well…” Khun couldn’t exactly lie about it. He felt like his stomach stirred like a boiling potion in a copper pot on big flames—and it wouldn't be long until he needed to hurl over the toilet bowl, which was certainly coming up right now.

Taecyeon sluggishly sat up, revealing his boxers. He only took off his clothes because Nichkhun threw up on him, really!—Nichkhun blamed his stupid heart for making his brain imagine indecent ideas.

“I know a good remedy for hangover. I’ll make it for you,” said Taecyeon. He smiled wearily as he left the bed. Khun's eyes followed his movements diligently, although he would say that it was totally involuntarily. Taecyeon watched as Nichkhun ran to the bathroom and heard him throw up there. Good thing Taecyeon had stopped drinking too hard.

When Nichkhun came out of the bathroom, breathless and in complete disarray, he found that Taecyeon had left the bedroom. With the remaining dignity he still had, Nichkhun put on a shirt and a pair of pants, and then he went to the kitchen. Taecyeon was there, in a pair of jeans that looked perfect on him—or maybe it was because Taecyeon was still topless. _Stop it!_ Nichkhun wished he would lose these troublesome feelings towards Not-Taecyeon-who-Loved-Him, but it was not possible—this man was hardly different from the stranger who said magical three words as they parted their ways instead of a normal farewell.

“Here you go,” said Taecyeon upon seeing Nichkhun enter. The man poured a glass of fresh drink that he made in pitcher with lemon, kale, cucumber, and pineapple. The host didn't know about how it would help, but he drank it anyway. It tasted good—certainly, Nichkhun loved lemons—but it actually freshened up his body almost instantly. He looked at the man he hosted. He gave him a toothy grin and a foolish pride that forced Khun to choke on his drink.

“Hey! You’re all right?” Taecyeon asked, immediately running to help. Nichkhun waved his hand as he was trying to calm his cough.

“Choking could be lethal, you know,” Taecyeon said informatively. He patted the other’s back gently. Nichkhun was suffering not because of the choking, just for your information, Ok Taecyeon.

“Yeah, sorry—thanks for the drink,” said Nichkhun finally.

“Never mind. You didn’t seem like someone who would go crazy with alcohol. I was surprised you knocked yourself out last night,” stated Taecyeon somewhat admiring. “You’re lucky I don’t drink much these days because I used to rampage when I was drunk—it cost me loads of money, too.”

“Oh.” This was the only thing Nichkhun could utter in response. He didn’t quite understand. The man was supposed to be not the Taecyeon he fell in love with that day in the airport, but Nichkhun’s heart responded petulantly at his gentleness, at his voice, at his… everything. It bothered Nichkhun, the fact that his heart did not give up.

“I—I have a rehearsal to—day. You can go sightseeing or whatever you want. I—I will leave you a copy of my keys and the combination…”

“I know the combination,” Taec interrupted with a sly smile. “How did you think I got us back inside last night?” Nichkhun blushed, ashamed.

“Ri—right,” he said, admitting his silliness.

*****

Nichkhun’s muddled mind disallowed him from focusing his heart, mind, and soul to the song he was playing. He had picked Chopin’s Nocturne in C-sharp Minor and it required all his heart and focus—everyone knew that. He also enlisted Beethoven’s Piano Sonata No.14 in C-sharp Minor, which was popularly recognized as the Moonlight Sonata. It was an exercise of futility, he found, that day.

“You are not here, Nichkhun- _san_!” Saotome, Nichkhun’s manager and coach, reprimanded. “It sounds all wrong—this is unlike your usual self. Take a rest for ten minutes and we will try again. The event is only a month away.”

Dejected and ashamed, Nichkhun accepted the words of advice. He sighed to the grand piano he was playing earlier. He closed it and rose to his feet. He wished he could blame the hangover—but no, he knew for sure that it wasn’t the hangover. What troubled him was the fact that he pined for the man he sheltered.

Earlier, Taecyeon informed him that he would go the embassy to confirm his wellbeing and whatever officials needed him to speak about. Nichkhun knew Taecyeon would leave. He knew Taecyeon didn’t belong with him. If Taecyeon wasn’t lying about the other world, then they were meant to be together, but only in that world.

Who was Khun trying to fool? They met coincidentally because the other Taec was thrown into this world and that Taecyeon’s fate entwined with his. It wouldn’t matter what he did, he would always find Nichkhun although in this world, the two were hardly even aware of each other’s existence until last week. Also, this Taecyeon was obviously heterosexual. He cried quietly inside the toilet’s cubicle. What would he do now? He had his heart stolen and he didn’t know how to recover from falling.

*****

Nichkhun walked into the apartment with heavy heart. The entire apartment was dark—it was already ten past eight. There was only one room lit up: Khun’s bedroom. He wondered what Taecyeon was doing that he practically abandoned the whole apartment. Nichkhun turned the lights on. He gasped upon finding what greeted him. Papers everywhere on the floor, black ink brushed on each one of them forming beautiful characters. Nichkhun wouldn’t be entirely surprised if it wasn’t for what the characters formed. It was his name, in Thai characters, beautifully written in dark ink. There were several of strokes that were used.

“Oh! You are home!” Taecyeon was startled as soon as he found Nichkhun stand in the middle of the room. In his hand was a tied scroll. “Sorry about the mess. I am about to clean this up.” Taecyeon proceeded to approach the stunned Khun.

“It’s—it’s all right,” Khun stammered, flustered as Taecyeon came closer.

“This is for you. I hope you like it. I have been working on it all day,” said Taecyeon, handing Nichkhun the scroll he had in his hand. The paper felt rich and firm in Khun’s fingertips, one of supreme quality products. It was almost like being given a royal scroll. Taecyeon left him afterwards, cleaning up the papers he tossed around while working. Nichkhun wanted to help him, but curiosity was eating him alive as he was staring intensely at the scroll in his shaking hand.

It must have been minutes since Nichkhun had been given the scroll. Taecyeon was back at his side again, pulling the tie leisurely for the new owner who didn’t seem to find the courage to even touch the tie. Nichkhun was startled, not because of the loose tie, but because of the slight touch between his fingertips and Taecyeon’s fingers.

“Open it,” Taecyeon said, voice low and gruff. He sounded and felt so near, Nichkhun could not move a muscle momentarily.

“O—okay.”

Nichkhun braved himself to unravel the scroll. Slowly, he could see the dragon pattern on beautiful red scroll, then further below was white paper, on which his Thai name was written artistically side by side with two words in _kanji_ that were literally read as “perfection” and “beauty”. Nichkhun’s heart had just stopped (mostly figuratively) and he just blew out. Just why would Taecyeon make this for him?

“What do you think? I made it especially for you, as an apology and gratuitous gesture from me,” Taecyeon asked curiously, but the one he was asking had just gone to another dimension. He tilted his head, taking a good look at the host’s face just in time to witness the second blowout. Taecyeon inwardly screamed. _My goodness, how could this happen again? I just can’t… I can’t… he is too cute!_

“I, uh, I…it’s—it’s beau—beautiful!” cried Nichkhun, panicking. He was red from head to toe and he didn’t even know why (he kind of did, but he pretended not to). He laughed nervously and tried to roll the scroll back with his trembling hands.

“Careful!” Taecyeon warned, jumping in to stop Nichkhun’s hands from tearing the paper inside. One more touch and Nichkhun would melt for sure, if not blow up.

“Ah! Ah! I’m—I’m sorry! I—I don’t know why I am so… so… hahahaha! I’ll—I’ll just hang it there,” Nichkhun said quickly, averting eye-contact and retracting his hands along with the scroll so he would stay sane (but he couldn’t). He was walking towards the wall behind his TV set when he stumbled on the carpet. Taecyeon’s long arm was able to grab on to his jacket, thankfully.

“You… seriously,” Taecyeon said, holding back his laughter. “Be careful. The scroll you are holding is at least worth the same as your phone.”

“Re—really?!” Nichkhun shouted.

“Perhaps,” Taecyeon replied with a goofy smile that made Khun’s stomach full with fluttering butterflies. “It has my stamp. Here, let me help you hang that.”

Taecyeon easily pulled the scroll out of Khun’s weak grasp. He went and hung the scroll, nailed it to the wall while Nichkhun watched nervously. He would never understand how irresistible he was right now for the pianist. Wearing a shirt that was obviously too small of his big body, a pair of shorts that were one size smaller than his appropriate size, and hammering so well for Nichkhun like that… Nichkhun wanted to die so badly.

“There,” said Taecyeon once he was back to Nichkhun’s side, admiring his handy work, expecting Nichkhun to do the same, but of course Nichkhun didn’t. “Anyway,” after a minute of silence Taecyeon added, “I am going back to Korea tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, tomorrow’s last flight to Seoul. I was hoping you would not mind accompanying me to the airport.”

“You’re… not leaving with the first flight?”

“I want to spend a little bit more time with you before going back home.”

Now Nichkhun truly wished he could faint because his heart just couldn’t. Taecyeon laughed sheepishly as soon as he finished his sentence. He was visibly flustered, too. It was too… dreamland-like.

*****

Nichkhun was driving Taecyeon personally to the airport. He honestly could not care less about the gas he had to spend to drive him all the way to Kansai International Airport. He usually did, but right now he was just too happy not to. He kept reminding himself that today would be one of the happiest days in his life.

The calligrapher and he did not do much throughout the day. They just loitered around the apartment lazily, talking and watching random TV programmes. There hadn’t been chances for Nichkhun to get cosier with Taecyeon, but being friends like that was enough for him. The calligrapher wasn’t much of a jerk that Stephanie had expressed to him for time and time again. He was just lonely and thoroughly misunderstood. He was a total teaser and somehow Nichkhun didn’t mind—although he must have been so red when he was caught red-handed having Taecyeon’s number in his phone before Taecyeon gave it to him this afternoon.

“There’s hardly anyone in here,” Nichkhun said, commenting the current state of the airport. The place was quiet. There were only a few people around. It wasn’t odd since it wasn’t holiday season and the hour was very late anyway.

“Late hour flight isn’t much preferred, you see,” Taecyeon said, smiling for no reason.

“Is it time for you to go in?” Nichkhun asked warily as a woman’s voice rang out through speakers, announcing undoubtedly Taecyeon’s flight number.

“I’m sorry you can’t go any further.”

“No—no, it’s okay.”

Nichkhun averted his eyes, attempting to hide away his breaking heart. He heard the other man chuckle deeply and the man stepped closer to him. His cologne filled Nichkhun’s nostrils, causing the pianist to swim in imagination—imagine being embraced, wrapped safely by those strong arms, comforted perfectly by the musky scent. Taecyeon bowed slightly, intending to kiss Nichkhun’s cheek for charm (he didn’t know why, but he was tempted to do so).

“Thank you for everything, Nichkhun,” murmured he. Nichkhun, startled, turned to Taecyeon. The move, however, caused their lips to brush against each other. Nichkhun pulled back quickly as he panicked. Taecyeon’s eyes widened as he was stunned by the turn of event.

“So—sorry! I’ll… I’ll leave…” Nichkhun stuttered uncontrollably, face bright red. He walked away, embarrassed. The lips were soft and warm—Nichkhun wanted to smack his own head as much as pressed his lips back on those of Taecyeon’s. No, Nichkhun, you must endure! Or so he thought.

Taecyeon never really thought deeply and long for anything. He was best as spontaneous actions, although nowadays he wasn’t required to do so. The moment he felt the lips against his and saw the reaction Nichkhun sport, he simply could not hold himself back. Before he gave it a second thought, he reached for the man and brought him into his arms. He kissed Nichkhun firmly and fully on the lips while closing the distance between them.

The Thai was shocked, but he quickly recovered and succumbed to his deepest desire. He responded to the kiss ferociously. He wanted to savour whatever Taecyeon had in him. He devoured everything Taecyeon had to offer. His hands clutched the front of Taecyeon’s coat at first, but as time went by, they climbed up to cage Taecyeon’s shoulders and neck. He was mapping the things he ought to remember about this moment. The firm chest glued to his own, the strong arms held him securely by the waist, the sturdy neck and hard shoulders, hot mouth and soft lips—the lingering taste of coffee and divine scent that screamed Ok Taecyeon. He wanted this to last forever.

They parted, at last, since they were out of breath. They looked into each other’s eyes while catching breath. Muddled by pure mutual passion for each other, they smiled. Nichkhun felt like he would explode. Taecyeon felt as if he might burn down the airport with his own body heat. They embraced tightly.

“Come to Seoul, I will write more for you,” Taecyeon whispered. Nichkhun was about to reply it with an agreement, but Taecyeon added mischievously, “Or maybe you want me to write on you. With white ink.” Nichkhun was blushing frantically, burying his face in Taecyeon’s shoulder.

“That—that’s not a bad idea,” he responded weakly. Taecyeon was surprised to hear that, but he chuckled in the end and kissed Nichkhun’s ear.

“I—I’ll visit and play you a song,” said Nichkhun, offering in the same fashion. He, then, also continued although with staggering voice, “Or you might want to me to play you instead. I am not bad at playing woodwind instruments.” Taecyeon laughed hard at this.

“You sure are full with surprises!” exclaimed the calligrapher.

“Shut up! You were the one starting it!” Nichkhun retaliated with his face still buried in Taecyeon’s shoulder. He was too uncomfortable to show his face right now. Taecyeon embraced him even closer.

“Thank you, Nichkhun. I might not be the one who said the three magic words at you that night, but I can’t help it. You’re too loveable. My feelings for you can’t be even near half of his size, but I really like you.”

“…I… I like you, too,” confessed Nichkhun sluggishly.

“Even though you are in love with the other me?”

“No—I mean, I… I can’t. My feelings are unchanged even after I know who you are. I… I just…” Nichkhun tried to explain, but this wasn’t something you easily explained. He pulled away from Taecyeon reluctantly, looking down.

“Let’s save it for the next time, okay?” Taecyeon interrupted, placing a finger on Nichkhun’s lips. He smiled at the astounded face that turned up to him. “We are not living in a fairy tale. We don’t get married after two or three days of meeting.”

“Right…” Nichkhun drawled. He smiled back right after.

“Until next time,” Taecyeon said, releasing the body completely from his embrace now. He really had to leave if he didn’t want to cause more troubles to his sister back in Seoul. Nichkhun sighed and hugged himself, trying to look tough.

“Until next time,” he said with lopsided smile. He waved.

“Do best for your concert. You are awesome,” Taecyeon said, waving back.

It was the last time they saw each other that day, that month. Therefore, they both knew it wouldn’t be the last time they saw each other. There was still ink to use on white paper. There was still a song to be played privately. Woodwinds and white ink alike, really.

Ok Taecyeon found that his sister was worried sick (who wouldn’t, blockhead?). She practically lunged at him as soon as he emerged from the arrival gate. Wooyoung was no better. At least he was now more likeable than before and it was impossible to miss. Nichkhun finally was able to return to his focused self. The rehearsals went smoothly, as well as the concert. Through texts and phone-calls, it was nearly impossible not to let the other know about each other’s current update. In the end, between this world and _that_ world, there wasn’t so much difference. Taecyeon concluded that it was so, right after Nichkhun sensibly caused him to lose his sanity by being so _fucking_ irresistible and Taecyeon just… kind of proposed to him, caveman style. Nichkhun had one line to describe it:

“This is such a primitive marriage.”


End file.
